Not EVERYTHING in the Bible is spelled out as consistently and clearly as say God’s jealousy, the rights of slaves, the property that is women or its utter inconsistency between old and new covenants. Let’s not get into the weeds by dissecting adjectives or comparing chapter and verse. Let’s take a Sinai view from 7500 feet above sea level at some overarching themes.
EYE FOR AN EYE v TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
There is a lot of bloodlust in the Hebrew Bible, a collection of stories, songs, poems and prophesies we find in our Old Testament. The Law of Moses was that justice requires “an eye for an eye,” and that justice was meant to be carried out quickly and severely. So severe were the edicts of God, who we’ll get to below, that not even babies or livestock were spared. On several occasions, YHWH commanded the Israelites to commit utter genocide that didn’t stop with the humans. His bloodlust was such that not a living thing was to be spared! YIKES. Sorta like the concept of hell, this justice seems unduly harsh. But that was the “old way.”
The “new way” of looking at justice, according to Jesus, was DON’T strike back, don’t repay evil with evil. That’s now considered barbaric. Instead, we are to turn the other cheek. Justice in the New Testament became self sacrifice, embodied in the man-god (demigod) Jesus. No babies or goats were harmed after 33 CE. Nowhere in the second half of the Bible—the good half, the Jesus part—is anyone instructed to plunder, rape and pillage. Nope. If you were wronged, bend over and say, “Thank you Father, may I have another?” First Peter 4:12-19 asserts that sharing in suffering makes you one with Christ.
These two concepts, while written 500-800 years apart scholars believe, couldn’t be more opposite than if they were the North and South poles. What is God’s justice, then, because it can’t be both! Does judgment come in this life at the hands of God’s elect or in the afterlife at His hands? Are we to pluck out our attacker’s eye as one covenant suggests? Or turn the other cheek and endure double the pain?
TRIBAL WAR GOD v ABBA FATHER
The Old Testament God, YHWH, is a brute force who led his tribe, Israel, into battle. This was not a foreign concept at the time, say two millennia BEFORE Common Era. The Canaanite God, Ba’al, was the son of the Most High, El, and a tribal warrior god. Scholars believe ancient Israelites revered and worshipped them all (see Exodus). But as we pointed out above, this version of the Biblical God, seems bloodthirsty, unsatisfied until every living thing is killed. I mean there was that whole flood narrative in Genesis. Gods in the ancient world were bloodthirsty and YHWH was no different. Look at the story of Abraham and Isaac. Blood sacrifice was known in the ancient world to appease the gods.
I won’t belabor that point. But when Jesus arrives on the scene, he paints a VERY dissimilar portrait of YHWH. In fact, that Hebrew alliteration is abandoned for the Greek Adonai or the Aramaic Abba for father. Never before in Hebrew culture was God depicted in this way. He was unknowable, unfathomable. Only the anointed High Priest was able to survive in the presence of the Almighty, according to Hebrew scripture. He was unapproachable. That is, until this hippie rabbi comes along telling a completely different story. So which is it?
Is the God of the Bible a bloodthirsty warrior God of ancient tribal people housed in a tent? Or is he the cuddly daddy God of Jesus, who is totally approachable, kind and compassionate, housed in Heavenly Glory?
You can’t read the Bible cover to cover and say there are no inconsistencies! Just like his two vastly different covenants, God himself seems to transform right before our eyes (somewhere between Malachi and Matthew). How is one to make logical sense of this? And these are just two overarching themes! When you dig down to verse level, there are TONS of incongruencies. It cannot be read literally or you’ll go mad making sense of it. Prove me wrong.
I am quite fascinated by the scholarly study of theology and religion, namely as it pertains to the roots of Christianity and Judaism. During the deconstruction of my faith in the mid 2000s, I still took for granted that the stories in the Bible were based in some historical fact. I believed that stories like Moses and the Exodus and King David’s reign and the great empire of King Solomon were somewhere rooted in truth and historical fact and that there was evidence to back it up.
But very recently as I’ve started to deconstruct the myths about Jesus and Christianity, and even the Old Testament patriarchs, and even God himself, I am beginning to question everything that I was ever taught about our religion.
As I discuss in the video, above, the very origin of the God Yahweh in the Old Testament came from the ancient Canaanite myths about God. Just like the pantheon of gods that existed in the mythology of the Roman and Greek people, or the Egyptians, or other Mesopotamians, The God El in Canaan was considered the high God among many. In fact, his name translates as the eternal. Isn’t it interesting that Yahweh identified himself as the Eternal One, the I Am?
This Henotheism, present in Canaan when Moses and his nomads arrived, is also evident throughout the Hebrew scriptures. Take the First Commandment from Exodus 20, “You shall have no other gods…“ That very statement denotes the existence of other gods. But Yahweh was instructing his people to worship him as the most high of all the other gods. That, by definition, is Henotheism.
And look what happens 12 chapters later, Moses descends the mountain only to find Aaron and the priests have erected a golden calf. And what the scripture doesn’t tell you is that the bull, which more than likely it was, is the symbol of El the Canaanite god. Moses comes down and finds them worshiping another god, the one from which their God was fashioned.
This theme rules the Old Testament in story after story of the Israelite people worshiping “false gods.” Gods like Ba’al, the son of El, and his consort Asherah. It’s why the prophets are always railing against the people of Israel. And the archaeological record bears this out. In the northern kingdom of Israel there were temples to these other gods at the time when the Bible CLAIMS they were strictly monotheistic, only worshipping one God, Yahweh. History indeed bears out that this isn’t true. The earliest Old Testament scriptures bear out that this isn’t true. If they were not polytheistic, which most scholars agree that they were until the Babylonian captivity, they were very much henotheistic. They believed Yahweh was THEIR God and the Most High of all other gods in existence at that time.
Scholars believe that the destruction of Solomon’s temple and then being driven into exile is what caused them to coalesce as a people around this monotheistic idea of Yahweh. They needed a unifying, cultural and religious ideal in which to rally around as a conquered nation. Think about the United States post 9/11 and how we all rallied around the patriotic ideal that no terrorist nation will attack us on our own soil and get away with it. In no other period of my lifetime have the citizens of this country united under the banner of “one nation under God.” So it was for the captive Israelites. And for that reason, scholars believe that’s when the religion turned monotheistic.
In fact, scholars also believe that that’s when the Hebrew Bible became canon. They believe that King Josiah trying to legitimize the new nation of Israel, centered in Jerusalem, began perpetuating the myth that Judaism had always been a monotheistic religion with Yahweh at the helm and that they had been brought together by King David. But we now know that none of that is probably true. Watch my video above on that and the one below on the Moses Myth.
If there’s no archaeological record, and the texts as we have them now point to Henotheism, at least, then how do we know any of the myths are true? Was monotheism rooted in the desire for a national identity as the chosen of God?
DISCLAIMER: I have succumbed to an existential crisis in my fifties much like Leo Tolstoy, but unlike him this did NOT lead me back to god.
In the beginning, there was God. I wholeheartedly believed in him. I worshipped him and he became the center, the anchor of my universe. God became all-in-all, or at least that’s what I told myself. Then came existential crisis number one in my thirties.
I was majorly depressed and struggling mightily with feelings of abject failure. God was nowhere to be found. I decided to end my life. I wanted to replace God in the center, on the throne of my life. I pulled up anchor and set sail for the afterlife, only I didn’t succeed. The ultimate failure was my inability to die 24 years ago today.
I felt like God showed up in a big way that next year. My whole life turned around. I purchased my first home, a brand new custom-built one with four bedrooms and two full baths. I believed God arranged a miraculous adoption two months later and I became a dad. Life had done a one-eighty in a matter of eight months!
A year or so after my second adoption (another miracle), I was no longer flying high. I began deconstructing my faith and my marriage at the same time. Existential crisis number two, still in my thirties. I realized that part of my depression and feelings of failure were due to my marriage and career path, if you could even call it that.
I didn’t have grasp of the wheel of my life. I “let go and let God,” as the popular Christian slogan goes. I was not living intentionally. I had no grasp of that concept. I fully believed that whatever happened to me, good or bad, was God ordained. It was easier to blame him for my lazy complacency. I think I began to realize this in my late thirties. My religion was no longer making me happy. I began to wonder if it ever had. I soon realized, after leaving the church, that ritualistic, religious abuse was a major part of my depressive episode in 2000. It contributed to my awful self image. It always had.
My spiritual journey led me away from church and traditional Christianity. I later found replacements for God, including The Universe, Consciousness and The Higher (or Divine) Self. I turned to modern philosophers who embrace Christianity AND New Age Spirituality, like Eckhart Tolle. I embraced his “Power of Now,” present reality focus. I realize that our control is limited to our thinking, unconscious mind and our ability to control it with “presence.”
That gave me some peace, some of the time.
It hasn’t been lasting. And where I found myself meditating or praying out loud, sometimes to the cosmos, I began to wonder what was so different. Did I look or feel any less insane, whether wrestling with God verbally or shouting my displeasure to the stars??? Wasn’t I just replacing one spiritual practice for another? Replacing God?
So now that I’m facing existential crisis number three in my mid-fifties, I’m left wondering what does any of it matter? The sun rises over the good and the evil just the same. Likewise, the rain falls on both without discretion. I’m paraphrasing Christian scripture here. There is no greater purpose.
This landing squarely in nihilism makes the most sense to me. How arrogant is our species to believe that we are so much more highly evolved? How arrogant is humankind to believe that we are created beings, special and important to our creator, be that a Demiurge or the Almighty? It’s pretty damn arrogant, if you ask me. Our species just evolved on this planet like every other living organism. We aren’t special. We weren’t placed here for some divine purpose.
Life is basically meaningless. This is what Leo Tolstoy realized in his fifties. It’s what I’ve come to realize. I’m done replacing God. He is not the center of anything, not the Universe, not my life, and concepts like Source, Consciousness or Divinity are just as imaginary as “he” is. I won’t be returning, like Tolstoy, to the religion of my youth. I’ll just live out my days on this planet until I am no more.
This is the 24th anniversary of my suicidal episode. If you are struggling, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, just dial 988.
This YouTuber really resonates with me, this video in particular. I've written here many times about Praise. I even sat down and for several months wrote a manuscript whose working title was "Man of Praise," because I thought that was my purpose on Earth. It was a well-written piece on Christian virtue, humility and worship. A book on being a man of faith. It was so inspiring to my ex-pastor's father-in-law, that the retired pastor wrote a forward for my book. It was nearly ready for publication. But then my world crumbled and I deconstructed my faith, much like Kristi Burke.
I'm dedicating this blog post to my two sisters, Heidi and Keely, who cling to their faith in God, the faith that we were raised in, and the belief that this "Heavenly Father" has our best interest in mind always. No judgment, but this is the religion of privilege. Look what Father God has DONE FOR ME! Yes, but what about babies who cannot survive outside the womb? Why did Omniscient, Almighty God "knit them together in their mother's womb" to begin with? He just needed another angel? What about children born to impoverished parents in abject poverty without clean water or enough food for their bellies? People all over the world are born into unimaginable suffering. Is "Abba" not concerned for their wellbeing? He clothes the "flowers of the field" and cares about the sparrow, but not these human beings He created?
This flawed theology is covered in Kristi's video. She takes offense at so many things in fundamental Christian theology, but omits the one thing that's always stuck in my crawl--blood atonement/human sacrifice. The most holy book ever written is replete with it. Humankind is meant to worship, but also to suffer. The original sin that He created and put on us, knowing we couldn't resist temptation, could only be removed with the blood of a "perfect" human being, Jesus, his son. This was foreshadowed in the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Judaic scriptures. Was that a literal command? "Abraham you cannot love me unless you kill your baby boy that I promised to give you, so that you could 'father my people?'" What kind of love or devotion is that? Kill your own child because your bloodthirsty deity demands it??? Sadistic AF!!! And barbaric...and not even an original idea. But I digress.
In the video she challenges other facets of the all-knowing, all-loving Daddy in the sky. She covers our purpose in Creation. She questions God's fragile ego that he needs constant praise and words of affirmation. She gets angry that it is coerced out of us for fear of damnation and the shame that evokes. Don't get me started, I grew up Catholic. SHAME IS REAL! (I may need a Brene Brown video after typing this! LOL!). This leads to mental health issues, like it did in me many years ago. Yeah, she covers that, too. The "white privilege" of American Christianity, which I've already touched on, she touches on in a roundabout way. I mean, from the beginning of Scripture, God chooses a select group of people, right? It creates the US v. THEM mentality that permeates society today! Why am I blessed (chosen, privileged) when so many other innocent children on the planet suffer? They weren't chosen, too? And that's LOVE??? She questions the idea of "free will," of God's "omnipotence," and inconsistencies in the Bible, like the slaughtering of women, children and animals because God's angry, impulsive and vengeful...and He didn't choose them!
I wholeheartedly believed this idea, at one time years ago, that my sole purpose on Earth was to praise this magnificent Being, who was so benevolent that he put me on Planet Earth and left me to my own devices. As Kristi begs the question, why does God need praise? Why does He require it? Why is suffering and eternal punishment the retribution for not getting on one's knee and bowing down to Him? Why is that so important to the Almighty Creator of heaven and Earth???
It seems like a wholly human idea that some dude millennia ago cooked up in his human brain. It doesn't make any sense. It never really did. But from an early age, I was brainwashed to believe it made perfect sense! I went to Mass every week in a church filled with the iconography of bloody, human sacrifice--from the crucifix hung above the altar, to the bleeding, pierced heart with a crown of thorns around it, but a golden crown on top in the stained glass! Were my parents and the Catholic church trying to scar me for LIFE?!?!?!
Shame was the message. "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE GOD DO!!!" "You should feel ASHAMED!" It was my sin, my fault, my flawed nature that caused all that iconography around me. I was five or six before the shame hit me. What kind of guilt is that to put on a small child? What kind of Joseph-Mary-and-Jesus kind of child abuse is THAT??? Not to mention all the actual child abuse that was going on behind the scenes!!! THANK GOD my parents got us out of that faith tradition before I BECAME A STATISTIC! As I wrote in my last post, A Faith Journey, I really wanted to become an altar boy. We left just before I was able. WHEW!!!
Once we got into Protestant versions of the faith, I was told I could have a "personal relationship" with this bloodthirsty, psychotic Being. GREAT!!! I was shamed and scared straight again, when I was shown some 70's, low-budget version of "Left Behind." If I didn't get baptised and right with God, despite already being "sealed" as a child of God from birth and my baptism in the Church, I was gonna deal with severe consequences here on Earth, being ruled by an evil AntiChrist! And if that didn't scare me straight, I'd suffer eternal damnation! Like I think they literally believed I could lose my salvation. But I said the prayer, I got sprinkled and dunked! I did "all the things!" Not good enough??? MORE SHAME and scare tactics. THANK YOU RELIGION for that!
But as I matured in my faith and bought into this idea that I had a "perfect Dad" up in heaven, I leaned ALL THE WAY INTO IT. Read my previous post, linked above, or just scroll down to the next headline. I WAS ALL-IN! But then something broke in me.
All that time in church, believing, doing all the things, like getting baptised a THIRD TIME (in the Holy Ghost, even!!!), and taking on all that shame and ritualistic abuse...and what did I have to show for it? NOTHING!!! I was a barren, wannabe dad with a worthless degree that I had hardly used in the 13 years I had it, I was used and abused by leaders in the church (by the Church, itself) for a dozen-plus years and I was exhausted! I tried to end my life in December of 2000. The weight of all that guilt, shame and responsibility (I was a leader in church and ministry for years) was just too much to bear. I wasn't happy in my marriage, in my life or in my chosen career. I wanted OUT!
Sad that the relationship I had fostered with this imaginary Being wasn't enough, didn't make me feel worthy or good enough, but only made me feel shame. I felt like the biggest phony and a miserable failure at everything, even my religion!
Like Krisi, I had to deconstruct everything I believed about the world, about life, about God, theology and religion. It all seemed so pointless. But deconstruct I did and came out the other side. I still have the scars to prove I went there...got the T-shirt. But what did I really gain other than trauma and emotional scarring? VERY LITTLE! I had the praise and adoration of my parents, but it left as soon as I left the church and divorced my wife. I had the praise and adoration of my fans inside the church and the ministries in which I was involved--Tres Dias, Vida Nueva, music...
I felt very used, abused and taken advantage of. Here's deeply committed Chris, playing drums for free in a church that pays many of it's musicians. Here's Chris, giving up time with his wife and two small children, to spend his Wednesday and Thursday nights in youth ministry or rehearsal, and then giving up half of his Sunday, and for what? That little bit of respect and adoration? For my parents approval???
That didn't fill my soul with anything of eternal value. I felt victimized by it all. No wonder I wanted to give up and say "WHAT'S THE POINT!"
Well, child of God, the point is that He loves you. He's proud of the victim you've made of yourself. Keep bowing down to Him and getting shit on by His people. Keep sacrificing what's most important, the investment in your adopted children, and keep giving freely of your time, gifts and talents. That makes Daddy God so happy.
FUCK. THAT!!!
Daddy God needs to find another sucker! DOYLE OUT!!!
And so the shame and abuse of the Church, at the hands of "God's chosen," drove me far away and made me question everything and deconstruct. It was catharsis. I found real healing--body, mind and soul cleansed of the BULLSHIT!
There's no reason to subscribe to any theology. The word itself means the STUDY OF GOD! It doesn't mean TRUTH. It means trying to make sense as a human being of things we will never fully understand. And faith is trusting in it with ZERO EVIDENCE! NO PROOF! Just believe and He will be happy with you. You'll have peace and rest ONE DAY...in eternity...down the road. Right now, though, just join in Christ's suffering and it will all be worth it. You have an eternity to bask in the reward for your good behavior. Don't expect shit here on Earth, in reality...just believe.
NOPE! Not good enough.
Faith and belief in goodness should change your life in the NOW! It should make a difference on Planet Earth. Not some bullshit bank account that you're building up equity in for the future, for eternity. We don't even know if that's real, if it exists! A wise person once quipped that religion is the "opiate of the people." Not unlike the Kool-Aid served by Jim Jones to his followers in Guyana, fundamental Christian theology is for the weak-minded who can't think, judge or discern for themselves. Just keep drinking the Kool-Aid. It tastes good. It will help you.
And this isn't to cast judgment on those who believe. I understand you. I WAS YOU! I'm just saying that I put reason and logic to it and it doesn't stand up to scientific scrutiny. In fact, it borders on the ABSURD! But you have to taste it and see for yourself. Maybe you like Kool-Aid. Who am I to stop you from drinking it. Freewill, right? Your choice. If it kills you, but you enjoyed the flavor, then that's on you. I don't pretend to have all the answers. I just know what I know. I don't pretend to know what's beyond, in the realm of the supernatural, in the supposed spiritual dimension that exists in the darkness (dark matter?) all around us. Scientists don't even know what dark matter is. They can't prove it anymore than they can prove what black holes do or how the Big Bang was activated. New discovery in recent years, thanks largely to James Webb Space Telescope, has the science community baffled and questioning everything.
QUESTIONS WON'T KILL YOU! They lead you to discovery.
Dan Barker said, “I was living a delusion.” He made this declaration on the Oprah Winfrey show as one of her guests back in 1984. He'd been a fundamentalist Christian preacher for 17 years before becoming an avowed athiest. That's what earned him a spot on Oprah's popular talk show.
When she questioned who was in charge during those 17 years of ministry and why he even believed back then in God. “The reason was my own personal psychological feeling that I was in touch with the higher mind I prayed every day I saw suppose answers to prayer.” I can relate to this, but let me go back to the beginning.
HOW IT STARTED
I was born into a Catholic household and baptised as an infant. I have godparents. I went to parochial schools and took Communion. I went to Confession. We left the church after mom and dad's "conversion," before I was able to become an alter boy or go through catechism and Confirmation. But I really wanted to, first, be an altar boy and ring the little bells during Mass and then to one day become a priest. I was so devout at a very early age (5 or 6), that my mom made me vestments because I liked to play like I was presiding over Mass in our basement "sanctuary." I'd feed my sister, Heidi, soda crackers, as Communion wafers, and grape juice, as Communion wine. I was deep into it.
That didn't change when we left the Catholic church and became Independent Baptists. I was again baptised--fully dunked this time as a pre-teen--and not only immersed myself in baptismal water, but also in Sunday School, VBS and youth group. My parents became high school youth group leaders, so that in 7th and 8th grade, I was hanging with the cooler, older kids.
That grew old and uncool by the time I reached high school. We returned to the Catholic church part-time so my folks could get the tuition discount at my parochial high school. I lost interest in my faith and going to church.
SELLING OUT
We moved to Tallahassee a week after my high school graduation and my parents found a new version of Christianity they liked better in a Charismatic, full Gospel church that believed in miracles and speaking in tongues and stuff like that. Again, I got baptised, dunked a second time, so that I began to call myself a CATHO-BAPTI-COSTAL!
I was baptised into a wide range of Christian orthodoxies. But that last one happened as I was reaching adulthood and seemed to help me make sense of life, so I bought in fully. I mean I "sold out to Christ" as they would say in the 1980's. I burnt all of my secular albums and tapes and immersed myself again in youth group and ministry. I became a youth leader, a men's leader, a drummer for the choir and various "praise teams." I bought in 100%.
I got married in that Charismatic church, where I'd met my wife and where I'd start my family in 2001. It played a very instrumental part in my life for over 18 years.
QUESTIONING THE NARROW INTERPRETATION
When I entered college to expand my intellect and my horizons, I decided to minor in religion. It interested me. Our assistant pastor was a professor of Old Testament Studies. He intrigued me, as a Bible-believing academic. I never enrolled in one of his classes, but I did take an elective called "Intro to New Testament." It was taught by a Jewish professor. Talk about opening my eyes to other ways to look at Jesus and his Gospel.
I'd say I grew up with a pretty narrow, fundamentalist interpretation of the Scriptures. I mean, my dad started reading Hal Lindsey and end times "prophets" like him. He took a very literal view of the Bible, and so did I.
College and life brought me to newer, broader understanding that wasn't so rigid or literal. Like, I understood science and the Big Bang Theory, so I already knew that Genesis was not a literal account of how our Universe began. I started trying to reconcile my long-held faith with scientific discovery. It was like trying to fit God into a non-religious context. It wasn't easy.
EMERGENCE
Back when I started this blog in 2005, I was raising two daughters and working closely with meteorologists who studied hurricanes and climate change. I had fully embraced science and was leaning heavily away from fundamentalism and my upbringing. I was extremely curious about the Universe and other, more liberal interpretations of the Bible and Christian theology. There was a growing, online community of Emergent Christians, who I joined on message boards and whose blogs I read (before podcasts became so popular). I wrote of The Emerging Ooze in May 2005.
That curiosity about differing views on Christianity led me to philosophers like Thomas Merton and Henri Nouwen, a gay Catholic priest. This was the spiritual path that led me to considering Eastern mysticism, where I found many parallels to the teachings of Jesus. I even read some outlandish ideas about Jesus as an Eastern Mystic, somehow inspired by the "three wise men," who were also "from the East." I considered how Jesus' teachings and healing ministry align well with the Gnostics of his time, that might be the desert dwellers he lived among during his "desert period."
LEAVING IT COMPLETELY BEHIND
After quitting the church where we got married and started a family five years earlier, we started a "home group" of sorts of about four or five families who were about the same place in their Christianity and faith journey. That didn't last long. We met a few months, sharing meals, conversation, prayer and taking up a communal offering that the host family was supposed to use to meet a need in the community.
We moved out-of-state to be near my family. We occasionally attended church with them or the church where my wife worked, a Lutheran church with a progressive, older pastor who loved Henri Nouwen. We had several conversations about faith and the church, but when the denomination split over the issue of "gay priests," I lost all respect for him, the denom, the faith...
I began questioning everything, even the existence of God.
I took aim at the heart of Christian orthodoxy--blood atonement. WHY IN THE HELL DID AN OMNIPOTENT GOD HAVE TO RESORT TO HUMAN SACRIFICE?!?! That practice predated Judaism by a long time. And you mean to tell me that an all-knowing deity couldn't come up with a better concept, a plan for humanity??
According to Google A.I., "Human sacrifice was practiced in many societies beginning in prehistoric times, but became less common in Africa, Europe, and Asia during the Iron Age. In the Americas, human sacrifice continued to be practiced until the European colonization of the Americas. Today, human sacrifice is extremely rare and is treated as murder by secular laws."
That made no sense to me...that an Iron Age practice was being carried out (human and/or animal) in Judaism until the time of Christ and that the Roman crucifixion of a convicted criminal was viewed as the "ultimate" human sacrifice, once and for all humankind.
God couldn't come up with a better way, a more humane and moral way to "save us?" He needed to rely on ancient practices dreamt up by mere mortals or "lesser gods?"
MY NEW AGE SPIRITUALITY
I use the term "New Age," sorta tongue in cheek. It was a dirty, demonic word in my parents' home. LOL! But the spiritual teachings of gurus like Eckhart Tolle and Mooji became more relevant to my faith journey. They blend a liberal view of Christian teaching with Eastern mysticism and other traditions to come up with a universal set of truths, like being good to others and loving oneself.
I no longer believe in the Biblical version of "Father God," a very patriarchal and archaic system of keeping people in check, namely women and minorities. If there is some deity out there, it possesses both feminine and masculine qualities and could give a shit what gender you identify with--as in maybe you are both, just like He/She/It. The Divine, as I see it, and you can find Jesus say the same in the Gospels, is WITHIN!
If you believe in created beings shaped in the image of their deity, then this isn't a totally demonic or foreign concept. Christians believe they are the "bride of Christ." They believe bride and bridegroom to be one. Therefore, I don't see how the idea that we all have the Divine, or are one with Source, is in any way heretical.
I try to tap into my "I AM energy" all the dang time. I find it deep in the core of who I AM. Or as Tolle, would say, "the essence of my being, the conscious mind."
This allows me the freedom to trust in scientific discovery. I don't have to fit God or theology into my belief in science. I don't have to limit a deity to dark matter. I don't necessarily believe in God, per se. Something existed before the Big Bang. We all came from SOMEWHERE! Maybe that's "the Source" as many gurus call it.
Popular astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson talks about “the god of the gaps,” referring to believers whose faith takes over where science leaves off. He sees that as a diminishing god and labels believers as ignorant “because the god of the gaps principal is like a philosophy of ignorance. Science is a philosophy of discovery.”
I'm all about discovery. That's what my faith journey is about--being curious and STAYING OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES!
You don't need a theology to learn to be a good human being. Tolle reminds us that we are, indeed, BEINGS AND NOT DOINGS! We live our lives like Human Doings most of the time. But you don't need to DO anything to be accepted as you are. No one has to shed blood for you to find goodness and morality.
As Barker puts it in the first video, up top, “There can be an objective scientific basis for morality outside of the supernatural outside religion based on the value of human life, based on the fact that life is preferable to non-life; making a hierarchy of value systems, which has nothing to do with receiving an edict written in stone from a God. I am free with the rational mind to determine a hierarchy of values which suits me fine...I have control of my own mind now.”
Like him, I look back on my prayer life and my "relationship with God," as a figment of my imagination. I created a cool, laid-back dad-god who I could converse with casually and who I could depend on to take care of me and look after me like a father. It was very convenient. I just couldn't understand his sense of fairness and justice, like when it came to disasters or death.
I was just watching the aftermath of Hurricane Helene the other day, and one victim who was spared thanked God for watching out for him, when the rest of his neighbors were drowned in a flood. Well, what about them? God just didn't care? He doesn't care about babies suffering and dying a horrible death? He didn't care about millions of Jews, his supposed people, being murdered or burned alive in the Holocaust? Too many inconsistencies in his form of justice...and in the Bible, for my taste.
Who was I really praying to or conversing with? Myself, I presume. It was a psychological construct meant to soothe my soul and help me make sense of this chaotic world that just randomly exploded into existence some 14 million years ago (or maybe not--the James Webb Space Telescope is casting doubt on our entire cosmic model). Like Barker, I had the best intentions. I was attempting to connect to the "higher mind" for my own betterment and the good of those around me.
I'm still trying to connect to that "Universal consciousness," as the gurus call it. That "higher mind" might just exist universally, on some vibrational frequency "out there," that most just haven't tapped into. I don't pretend to know.
These days, you'll find me just conversing with "the Universe." I'll be out on my beach putting my intentions out there and speaking positivity, trying to find my vibration on that frequency. I tell the Universe, whenever I go out there to practice my "New Age" spirituality, that "I'm open to possibilities." I'm still curious and ready for the next adventure.
In my March 2016 post about white angst, I wrote, "But the Trump phenomenon is beyond weird. He played upon the growing angst of white, conservative America. He served up, in true reality TV fashion, all the most inflammatory rhetoric he could muster, like a grand dragon at a KKK rally in the deep woods of Mississippi. He's yet to distance himself from that domestic terrorist organization, by the way." And I wrote this a full year and a half BEFORE the Charlottesville incident!
White angst is rooted in the real population data which shows a declining percentage of white Americans, down more than FIVE MILLION in the second decade of the 2000's. Pew Research Center found in 2021 that only FIVE PERCENT of Republicans think the dwindling of white Americans is "a good thing." And because the whites now feel marginalized--Native, Black and Brown Americans are saying "WELCOME TO THE CLUB!"--and their way of life under attack, they have lashed back. "This is why they cling to their 'traditional' and 'family' values. They want to believe that life was actually once like 'Leave It To Beaver' and their favorite black-and-white television shows of the 1950's. They'd like nothing more than to turn back the clock and relive those heydays of segregated bliss. They want prayer back in school, abortion abolished and white privilege to once again reign supreme," as I wrote way back when. That last line could be the promotional ad for Project 2025, Trump's current platform of Christian extremism. But I highlighted the segregation part of my quote because that gets to the root cause of white angst, a topic I've taken on several times on this blog page.
No longer in the majority, many whites feel like they're world is crumbling, like the people of color are taking over and their rights will be stripped away. To heighten those fears, the traditional, family and "Christian" values they've held since the 50's (when a lot of GOPer's were born) are no longer in the mainstream, widely accepted, adhered to or en vogue. In the 2020's we've seen church attendance dip below 50% for the FIRST TIME EVER in this country. More and more Americans are non-religious; and those who once were are no longer attending church nor are they requiring their children to attend Sunday school, VBS or youth services. Those were all things I was required or encouraged to do, growing up in a middle class, Christian American home.
But this country, sorry to tell you Heritage Foundation, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, WAS NOT FOUNDED on the Bible or Christianity. Morality DOES NOT depend on your scriptures or sacred texts. There were codes of morality in the Mesopotamian region LONG BEFORE your religion or the texts even existed. Morality is determined by humans who make the laws governing society--humans who are both influenced by religion, but also by humanism, atheism and lots of other ISMS! Quit ringing your hands that Jesus was taken out of government and the classroom. HE NEVER BELONGED THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Even HE washed his hands of government and politics. "Then he said to them, 'So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.'" Luke 20:25, Mark 12:17 and Matthew 20:21. So for those keeping count, that's ALL THREE Synoptic Gospels quoting Jesus on his views about taxation and government. He wasn't too concerned with it. His concern was "his father's heavenly kingdom," which he makes quite clear throughout the gospels (and might I insert here, he never once mentions homosexuality anywhere in the gospels).
So now that we've made clear that Jesus agreed with our Founding Fathers on one issue--that is separation of church and state--let's get back to our main point. White Christians, in particular, feel that they are under attack. Because they no longer control the narrative or censor Hollywood or the media or control the halls of justice, they feel marginalized and bullied. Guess what, TOUGH SHIT! You controlled the narrative for long enough! Ever since the Roman Empire co-opted Christianity, white Europeans have controlled the narrative, written and told the story still printed in our history textbooks today. Talk about INDOCTRINATION!?!?! When was the minority view ever considered? When were they're stories ever told?
Only since the civil rights movement of the 1960's have we even BEGUN to learn about black and brown contributions to our great country. Only in recent decades have the voices of Native Americans been heard. ALL OF THOSE MARGINALIZED PEOPLES since the beginning of Western Civilization contributed greatly to our history! Think of the Native American code breakers who assisted our war effort, the black Union soldiers (and black veterans in every war since) who left their blood on battlefields around the South and the World, the migrant workers who put half of the produce in your local Walmart, etc...they have helped to shape America into the inclusive, representative republic that it was supposed to be. Their stories are finally getting added to the history books, but not without white backlash. Take for example, Critical Race Theory and how angry that made white Christians and other conservatives. HOW DARE THEY HAVE A VOICE! DON'T 'THOSE PEOPLE' KNOW THEIR PLACE???!
Which brings us back to whites becoming the minority. When you are the minority, your stories don't get to dominate the history books, the media, the collective narrative anymore. Again, WELCOME TO THE CLUB! How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine???
Like I wrote in March 2016, "white privilege breeds fear and it has ever since the end of slavery." Conservatives who want to roll back time and "Make America Great Again," are just perpetuating age-old stereotypes, now including brown immigrants, and preying on white people's fear, their angst. Back in the 1870's, they didn't know what to do with newly freed slaves roaming the countryside, looking for work, housing, equal rights to free white citizens, so there was a huge backlash. Enter the Jim Crow era for the next 100 years!! And now, since civil rights assured them their equality, we are seeing the same Jim Crow-like backlash. It's called Project 2025 and the new, more aggressive, more fascist Trump regime. He's preying on that white angst like a mother####er!
Those "Christian values" they hold so dear are the same ones that "put Africans in shackles, Native Americans on reservations, turned a blind eye to the mostly Jewish Holocaust, interred Japanese-Americans and now wants to deport every 'illegal' back to their homeland," I wrote in 2016. Are the whites now afraid of a new black and brown backlash? That the same oppression they perpetuated for millenia will be brought back to bear on them??? Is that their fear? "Did the African-American President ever open those FEMA camps to inter white folks? Has any minority--Latino or otherwise--ever considered putting privileged white folks in shackles and selling them into slavery? So what are they so scared of?"
We've seen how the Establishment of old, rich white dudes react every time black or brown people seek to be heard, whether it's kneeling through an anthem or marching to protest George Floyd's death. I wrote in October 2017, "It's like a sudden eruption of white-hot angst from just below the surface that bubbles over in the form of hate, outrage and bigotry." And now that a WOMAN OF COLOR will probably be the next Democratic candidate for President, watch how the right responds. We already know how the white Christian right feels, it's in their manifesto (Project '25).
Their fear is that eons of "white privilege" is slowly being eroded away due to the fact that they will SOON no longer be in the majority. The socialist redistribution of wealth is a threat to the stranglehold they've had on this country since it's foundation. This is at the heart of their angst. This is why conservatives have aligned themselves with hate groups (like in Charlottesville, 2017) who shout, "WHITE POWER!" They are not ready to give over their privilege or their power. It causes them to lash out in anger and support a neo-Fascist (but only on Day One, right?) who whips them into a frenzy, even leading them to attack our government (like on Jan 6, 2021), to deny election results and to hate their black and brown neighbors--both legal and illegal. See my post from May 2019, "White Privilege Breeds White Nationalism."
It's about to all play out again this November and probably in January, when the election results are contested by the Orange Cult Leader and his minions.
I'm just going to need the white Christian nationalists and those worried about their white privilege, to sit down and simmer down! We've heard ENOUGH out of you. Let the black and brown people speak. It's their turn now.
I haven't posted much political content this year. I've been more focused on my health and reconnecting with an old flame. But with the recent conviction of Donald J. Trump and all the fanfare on social media, I felt the need to say something on this blog.
I was walking home from the grocery store on my island and ran across a work pickup with this window cling on the back of the cab. "Impeach Biden," is a ludicrous slogan (and pipe dream) meant to disparage the current president, the one who won the 2020 vote legally and fairly. He's NOT the one who interfered with the election! The other doofus is. He's not the one under investigation for criminality inside and outside the White House. There aren't even any TRUMPED up charges against him upon which to base an impeachment trial. That's what makes this window cling ridiculous. It is pointless and holds no merit.
IT IS IRONIC, THOUGH...
Ironic in the fact that the FORMER president actually underwent TWO impeachment hearings in the halls of Congress. Not once, but twice. No trumped up charges, only allegations supported by eyewitnesses and mountains of evidence. In my eyes, the douchebag WAS impeached.
He was also charged in a civil suit of sexual assault. He was convicted of paying off porn star Stormy Daniels after an illicit affair with her while current wife, Melania Trump, was pregnant with his child. Michael Cohen, who handled the hush money payoff, testified under oath that when he asked the former president if he was worried about the wife finding out, the orange buffoon's response was that he wouldn't be on the market long. His own wife, like every woman (or person), in the raging narcissist's life is 100% expendable. Once they aren't providing his "narc supply" (the goal of every narcissist to get their ego needs met), they are of no use to him. He just didn't want Ms. Daniels selling her story to a publisher, the press or the highest bidder. It would look bad for him.
NOT WITH HIS FOLLOWERS...
Nope, the slimy, curmudgeonly MAGA(t) masses who lap up his drivel and love every assault, sexual or otherwise, didn't think it looked bad at all. Cheat on your wife. Pay off the porn star. Laugh it off with your typical locker room vernacular. They just love their felons! I mean, their Christian Nationalist/Fascist Dictators! They'll continue to buy his Bibles, his hats, his lies and financially back his campaign for re-election this year. MORONS!
The 34 felony convictions did not bother them one iota, many of them Bible-believing Christians. The assault on our Constitution, the assault of women (multiple), the locker room talk, the illegal business dealings (his CEO is a convicted felon, too), the attempted coup to stop the peaceful transition of power and his inability to quote even ONE SCRIPTURE from the Bibles he's selling all points them to the logical conclusion that he's a moral guy, a Christ-like person.
UMMMMM...
Excuse me while I puke! Didn't Jesus take a bullwhip and kick people out of the Temple, turning over tables and tongue-lashing the "bible salesmen" of his day? Peculiar. Aren't there New Testament Scriptures, and I'm thinking primarily in that last book, about the anti-Christ and how easily he dupes Christians and the ignorant, heathen masses in the "end times?"
Stupid memes like this have been circulating on social media to compare what Trump is going through (the justice system) to Jesus Christ (persecution as a leftist rabbi)
Yeah, the orange one doesn't favor Damien from The Omen films at all.
On the contrary, his duped minions have taken to social media in the weeks since his conviction ON 34 FELONY COUNTS to compare their evil cult leader to Jesus Christ, Himself!!! NO LIE! If I've seen the comparisons once on Facebook, alone, I've seen them a gazillion times! Excuse me, the stomach bile is in my throat again.
That, in itself, is blasphemy. Do these dolts even OPEN their Bibles??? I haven't opened one in years and I can see it plain as the nose on my face!
I've seen this one posted over and over to Facebook. I see it in my news feed and I immediately SNOOZE the person, at the very least.
You don't ADD TO or TAKEAWAY from the "inerrant word of god," so the fundamental faithful say. Yet, here's this known snake oil salesman adding the U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence to the Holy Book. I mean, it makes perfect sense, since Christianity started on these shores all those years ago. Oh, wait, no that was the Middle East in about 80-120 A.D.
Christianity started as a Messianic sect of Judaism in the first century. The Bible was codified by the CATHOLIC CHURCH in the fourth century by a council of bishops (SHHHH! Most American Christians don't even know this and think the Catholics are heretics and demon worshippers!).
We are NOT a Christian nation, so Marjorie Taylor Knitwit can sit down with her nationalist dreams and STFU! Many of our founding forefathers were DEISTS, not necessarily Christian. They didn't set up our republic as any one religion. Pretty sure they mandated the separation of church and state, meaning religion has no seat at the table and governments can't interfere with religious practices. The two are to remain separate, but don't tell that the mega-church-pastoring, 501(c)3-protected billionaires who preach politics every week!
Religion is the opiate of the masses, it's been said.
History is bound to repeat itself.
We don't need to return America to her 1930's self. That's where the MAGA(t) morons get their moronic slogan--from 1930's Nazi propaganda when Hitler and the KKK were still popular among WASP-y Americans. They were duped back then, during the worst depression in history, that we were a great nation. Women, black citizens and those in the gay community didn't find it so great. History is written and rewritten by the rich, white elites in power, the same ones who've ALWAYS held the power. And if we don't learn from it--if we don't even know where the MAGA slogan came from--then we are doomed, as the prophets foretold.
Just quit with the Jesus comparisons, already! And quit shoving your narrow-minded, mega church mentality down all our throats. I could out-quote the Bible to most of you, ignorant hypocrites, buying Trump Bibles and backing the convicted rapist and felon! Jesus would label you a "brood of vipers."
I just think your ignorant, opiate-addicted, easily duped FOOLS!
There is no choice, in my mind, but to rebut and rebuke fascism in any and all forms, and support the guy who's been about our republic his whole life, dedicated his life to it, in fact. He's old. He's a career politician. SO F-IN WHAT??? You want four years of that convict and lunatic with the wispy, orange combover and spray tan???
I haven't expressed many religious views in some time and that was partly the basis for this blog which began in 2005 or thereabouts. And as I was showering this morning, I thought about the deconstruction of my faith that has been occurring in spurts and starts ever since that time. So let's talk about that, shall we?
MONOTHEISTIC MYTH
Some of the world's great religions--Christianity, Islam and Judaism--purport this mythic creative being who is so above our human consciousness so as to be nearly incomprehensible. But is "he" really?
On counterpoint, the humanist idea purports this idea of the fully realized self--the perfect human, if you will. But is that idea really so different? Allow me to explain from my own personal upbringing.
The God of my childhood was certainly created in human image and explained to me as a loving, yet militantly disciplinary parent. I mean, uber-militant, like say your prayers or risk hellfire. Scary, right? Juxtaposed to his sense of fairness and justice, was the loving father figure who, once in his good graces, couldn't lavish enough love on you. As I grew to understand this concept of a perfect being of the most perfect love, I realized God possessed both masculine and feminine characteristics. I mean, even the Bible describes him/her as a mother hen gathering us like chicks under her wings.
But in all those descriptions, meant to put God in terms we could understand, he/she is merely the perfect parent or fully realized human--God in our image.
Is that so different than the humanist view of a supreme being? To me, this idea purported by monotheism that he is something more is a vain attempt to explain how and why we are here.
INTELLIGENT DESIGNERS
The argument of the intelligent design community is a full spectrum away from the randomness of the chaos theory. But let us be honest. Isn't it just as plausible that aliens of a far more advanced reality designed our universe as it is that a God creature did it in a mere six days? And what's so intelligent about a black hole anyway? Did those designers say, "Yeah, this is great and all, but you know what this galaxy needs? A huge vacuumous drain!"
I'm only halfway joking, here. If I am supposed to believe there is this incomprehensible being "out there" somewhere looking over this intelligent design he created with a word, why can I not consider him/her and alien being. Maybe she's an alien mother hen that exists in another realm---a highly creative chicken with a sadistic sense of humor.
ANTI-CHRISTIAN
My deconstruction of my faith has caused me to become very anti-Christian. Especially in today's polarized social climate, I have very little tolerance for the bigotry, sexism and homophobia of ultra-right-wing Christian expression.
My own Christian experience ran the gamut from Catholic to fundamental Baptist to the zaniness of Pentacostalism. I minored in religion at Florida State University to try and make sense of it all. What I came away with left me convinced that they are all basically full of shit. And the crazy part is that the Protestants don't seem to understand that the book they so highly value was given to them by Catholic Bishops from the 4th - 6th centuries, who couldn't have been any further removed from the Christ figure if they were meeting on Neptune, instead of Europe. And these bishops had an agenda. Why do you think some books were in and some were out? Because they picked what fit with their worldview, theology and bias. And the world--Catholics and Protestants, alike--have been lapping it up like it's water from the fountain of youth ever since. We don't even question it, not even when it clearly contradicts itself, at least I was raised not to question it.
My father, to his credit, did question the authority of the Pope and the Catholic Church. That's why we left and became Baptists in the late 1970's. He had what he describes as a conversion experience in a charismatic Bible Study that led him to a spiritual retreat called Cursillo. Just before we moved to Florida, however, my mom got very interested in the Charismatic movement in the Church, an outgrowth of the hippie church movement of the late 60's. She and my dad read a book called "Walking and Leaping" by Christian author Merlin Carothers. Once in Florida, they sought out a church that was "filled with the Spirit" and that's how we became CathoBaptiCostals, term I like to think I coined in the mid-1980's.
I always said that this upbringing gave me a well-rounded view of Christianity, but it really didn't. It was all pretty much based in fundamentalist ideology. It just took very different approaches to the foundational salvation message. It wasn't until college and even into adulthood, when I first encountered liberal Christians on Internet message boards, that my fundamentalism was even challenged. I'd never considered Christianity from a liberal or humanist worldview. I didn't know those kinds of Christians existed, or at least I never validated their brand of Christianity. I looked down upon such blasphemers as fake Christians.
When I go to church now, which is infrequently, I surround myself with these liberal types, who believe in justice, equality, inclusion and such. But I go to that church with a very anti-Christian mindset. I just don't trust Christians very much anymore. I totally get why a large portion of the world hates and distrusts them.
I still want to believe in goodness, in love, in fairness and justice, I just don't believe that it all starts with this other-worldly being who we cannot really comprehend. It'd be just as reasonable to assert that it started with highly evolved beings from another galaxy or whatever.
The theology and the book it is loosely based upon don't interest me as much as the result. How does your belief define you and make you treat others? Are you a decent human being? Are you a responsible, charitable and compassionate inhabitant of this planet? Do you make others better by your being here? The results, the actions, are what speak the most to me.
Well, I've run out of steam, so we can discuss this more later...
Last Sunday, I checked in at GoodSam on Facebook with a status, "Being church with Makenna." That's my youngest daughter and the reason I am even in church. But that status stuck with me all week. So when I was asked to write a blurb for this week's e-Newsletter, I titled it "Being Church, Clothing Christ" because we were seeking donations of kids' clothes for a widowed mother of two. It warmed my heart that the congregation I now call family wanted to help this woman in our community who is not a member. I don't know if this woman even goes to church, but she works at a grocery store nearby. Sunday, they are giving me a Mother's Day Card to present to her with a check to help with her financial burdens, now that she is a single mother. What an awful thing for her to spend this Mother's Day with two grieving children, as she herself grieves the loss of their father. But what a blessing to be a conduit of God's love, grace and mercy, through my church family.
Beyond the warm feelings I got when the church offered to help and asked me to be the messenger, I was inspired and awed by the universal truth that we are, indeed, God's hands and feet at work in the world. In reality, that's what "being church" means. We are to be the conduits that carry the essence (call it Holy Spirit, if you will) of God into our homes and communities. That should cause you to stop and reflect, as it has me all this week.
It doesn't matter your level or brand of faith. The church building where you spend your Sundays (or whatever day you worship) is of very little importance. It's the congregation of people, each individual member of "the Body," that makes us Church...and that's a capital "C" for the universal congregation of believers.
For those of us who chose to label ourselves "Christian," WE, as the spiritual descendants of Peter, are that Church built upon the rock. In fact, Peter's name literally means "rock" (Look up Petra in the Greek). WE are Church. So being Church takes on so much more of a personal flavor. There is a lot of personal responsibility to being Church. It means doing something; being something; being different.
There are a lot of people that GO to church; but sadly, it seems very few of them know how to BE.
I was one of those "goers" for a very long time, but then I fell out of practice. I stopped going. I became very jaded, cynical and lost my identity as Church, for awhile. I gradually came back to the "being" but I still wouldn't darken the door of a church building because of all the contempt built up in my heart.
It wasn't until my mom was dying of cancer that the return to "being" was completed.
She was diagnosed in early Summer 2014. Within 17 months, cancer that started in her breast had metastasized and was ravaging her 66-year-old body. She chose quality of life over quantity and enjoyed her children and grandchildren, even a great-grandchild, for that last year and a half. I was blessed to be able to spend Summer 2015 with her in Noblesville, IN. I took three trips up to see her in 2015, the last was over Thanksgiving Weekend. She died that Sunday as I was just about to come home.
Mom's dying wish was to see me and my girls back in church. We hadn't gone regularly since my youngest was born. So to honor Mom's wish, I invited my girls to church and picked the one closest to their home because it had a cool name, Good Samaritan. I didn't care that it was United Methodist, just that it had a good reputation in the community and it was closeby...walking distance, even.
In the last year and four months at that church, minus the Summer 2016 which I spent with my widowed father in Indiana, I've seen myself fully return to "being Church." My cynicism and jadedness has faded and is being replaced with hopefulness and peace. I feel that I'm part of a family of like-minded believers, again; people that aren't just there to go through the motions or talk a good spiritual game. I joined a home group of these people who took me in, fed me (in more ways than one) and have become solid friends. I've seen this family serve together, play together, let their hair down, but get serious when a need arose. They are real. I call GoodSam the church of misfit toys. But that's just what the apostles were, too. Jesus didn't hang out with the politicians, the polished, the church leaders. I feel like today, he'd be found in the pubs, pool halls and hooka bars.
I know that Mom is in heaven smiling down on me this Mother's Day Weekend. I kept my promise. My daughter was baptized in the church last year. We aren't faithful attenders, but we are getting better at being Church on a daily basis. And that's the point, isn't it?
Okay, so my blog sat dormant for the majority of the summer. Part of the reason was personal and the other part was not having access to a scanner to keep my news articles posted. So here we are, approaching middle August and I feel the need to post something positive about two of the people in my life.
Here is a photo of their awesome family from about two years ago...
Shawn and Sherri Critser live on Fort Myers Beach and pastor the First Baptist Church--www.beachbaptist.org. They moved here from Henderson, Kentucky, near the area of Indiana where I was born and where my roots are. Needless to say, we hit it off right away.
I met their two daughters, first, at soccer practice at Bay Oaks Recreation Campus last August, nearly a year ago to the date. Their youngest played on my youngest daughter's team and their oldest daughter was goalie extrordinaire for my oldest daughter's soccer team. It wasn't until the season actually started that I met their family and all of the folks they usually brought with them.
To say that Shawn and Sherri are very vocal at sporting events, especially when their children are participating, is a HUGE understatement. It drew me to them right away. I tend to get very loud in support of my girls, as well. When I found out they were "old home folks," I immediately bonded with them and felt like family. It took some time for us to find space to interact and build on that "I've known you my whole life" kinda feeling, but it eventually worked out.
Now, I find myself living on their property in an RV they are letting me use...because they are just that kind of people--loving, kind, considerate and compassionate folks (though don't tell Shawn he's compassionate)!
To give an example of what I'm talking about, I asked Sherri if I could wash my first load of laundry in her house. She's basically said what is theirs is mine and to help myself to anything. Well, she not only said that I could, she offered to wash and fold my clothes for me. In fact, she insisted on it. That's the kind of friend you want in your life.
Beyond that, they have shown their true colors to me in many other ways. They are what I would call authentic people--genuine, forthright and honest--and "true" Christians. They have loved and supported me through the most difficult summer of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Nor would I trade Friday breakfasts with Shawn at the Heavenly Biscuit for all the money in the world.
I adore their children, their extended family and the good-hearted people at their church. It's been a pleasure getting to know them and become part of that circle of trust (i.e. their wolfpack of many). Well, that's all I had to say. It's good to have friends like that in your life.
Hard to believe, but in April this blog will be seven years old.
I know I haven't been a consistent blogger. As you'll notice in the timeline on the lower right, there are missing months where I did not blog at all. No apologies. Life just gets in the way of writing sometimes.
But this has always been a great place for me to vent, to get creative, to share personal feelings, failures and accomplishments. All told, I'm pretty proud that I've stuck with it this long, since the average shelf life of most blogs is less than six months.
Over the next few months, leading up to that anniversary, I plan to do some looking back and share some of my favorite blog posts. This space serves as sort of a road map of my spiritual journey the last seven years. The road I began travelling back in 2004-05, down the path of rediscovery and emerging spirituality, led me far away from my Catholic and Pentacostal roots. Well, maybe not THAT far away, but certainly in a new direction.
For anyone who has followed my ramblings, thanks. I appreciate your interest and longevity. For anyone who has just stumbled upon this blog, welcome. Pull up a chair and click through some of the posts from 2005-2011. You might chuckle, maybe you'll even stop to ponder, but whatever you do, leave a comment. Blogs are not for stalkers. They're for conversation. You don't have to be a blogger yourself to leave a comment. Anyone can do so, even anonymously.
Just in time for Easter…my first blog on anything spiritual in quite awhile. I’ve been ruminating on what it means to “lift God up from the Earth.” It would seem that it means different things to different readers of the Gospel. I am referring, of course, to the words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of John, twelfth chapter, 32nd verse, “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”
In the evangelical circles where I once circulated, this one verse served as their singular mission statement. Lift God up so that everyone will be saved. Of course, they didn’t believe in universal salvation. I mean, what would we do with an empty hell? List it in the real estate section on Craigslist?
No, my contemporaries in the church didn’t believe that we could lead every soul to Christ, they just believed that we should try. And the Christ-given formula was simple.
There was another sample in my circle who believed it meant that and more. They believed that Jesus was giving them the charge to wear their Christianity on their sleeve. You’ve seen them on street corners, in the public square, toting signs, holding political rallies, etc. They believed that the more public with your faith, the better. How else would God be lifted up? In my personal experience, these kinds of displays only served the opposite purpose of turning people off to the message of redemption. It may sound like a harsh criticism, but I’m only pointing the finger at myself. I lived this way for awhile in my younger adult years.
Now that I’ve been fully detoxed from years of “churchification,” I feel that I have a better perspective. I still believe that faith should be lived out publicly, but not in any of the ways I’ve described heretofore.
I sincerely believe that Jesus was promoting a better way to live that had nothing to do with church services, praise choruses or political rallies. He just went about daily life doing what he does, helping others. He usually didn’t make a big spectacle of it, though some of his ministry did become a spectacle, of sorts. In fact, after some of his great miracles, he actually requested discreetness. Jesus wasn’t about drawing attention to himself. He was about helping people live better lives.
I do not see how forcing one’s religion or personal beliefs down someone else’s throat serves that same purpose. It draws no one closer to God. Likewise, I don’t see how public displays—whether at outdoor church services or pro-life marches—exalt the Almighty and draw people in.
I think it is simple, random acts of love and kindness that go the furthest to accomplish the mission of John 12:32. The little things we do to help others that make life better in small increments are, in my opinion, what lifts up the ideal of Christ and knowingly or unknowingly draw them toward that ideal.
Consider that as you enjoy Easter Sunday and determine to make the world a better place one random act at a time. Peace be with you.
Leviticus 19:28 (NIV), "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.’” The Contemporary English Version says, “I forbid you to shave any part of your head or beard or to cut and tattoo yourself as a way of worshiping the dead.” But the last part probably relates more to the shaving, as noted here.
"Could [Leviticus] be any more clear? Simple. . . Straightforward. . .Settled. . .God Said It. . . I Believe It. . . That Settles It. . .Right. . .? Not hardly. . . The clear statement from the word of God does not settle anything for this generation of disobedient, carnal, worldy, tolerant, non-judgmental, Christians."
This site goes onto label Satan as the “master tattooist." I mean, just look at it! Doesn't that look evil???
On the other side of the coin, one reformed theologian writes, “If these actions do not have evil associations in our own time, there would seem to be no reason to forbid them.”
A blogger at All Things Ink says, “Historical context is paramount. When Leviticus was written, tattooing was largely a pagan practice, done to mark slaves or to show devotion to a pharaoh. Since tattooing has evolved the rule may be outdated.” Here’s a word from the Jewish community about the history of their belief.
Considering both sides from a Judeo-Christian perspective, what are we to do with the tattooed??? Should we kick them out of the Church? Should we limit their participation in worship services? How do we respond to the clear message of that one Old Testament Scripture?
Heaven help us if our denomination were to come out and endorse “those who are inked.” What if they allowed “the inked” to be ordained and practice as full-fledged members of the clergy? Would we be able to bear it? Would they have to cover all body art in order to officiate services or partake in the sacraments?
You know, some hardliners, like Dial-God-up-on-the-phone-we’ve-got-a-direct-line Ministries, would question their Christianity. If their denomination were to give credence to “satanic” body art, they would probably have to denounce such action with great public fanfare and accordingly leave the denom. At a minimum, they would certainly quit funding it with their offerings.
The reformers, on the other end of the spectrum, might see such a decree as a welcome sign of change, acceptance and openness. They might embrace the inked into their churches, love them as Christ and welcome the value they bring to the communion table. They might not even have a problem sitting under the leadership and counsel of such a person. And they certainly wouldn’t pull their support, financial or otherwise.
Two sides of one coin, or in this case, one Scripture. Two very different responses. Which one do you think sounds more like the Spirit and letter of Christianity?
Buried at the bottom of Saturday's IndyStar.com headlines was a compelling story about faith, friendship and goodwill that read "Muslims to feast at synagogue." Many may have missed the significance in that one line and scrolled past. I, however, could not...not after my recent blog about Jewish persecution during WWII.
The article tells of an Indianapolis rabbi who opened his synagogue to a Turkish-American Muslim for a celebration of Ramadan, an Islamic holy day. Think of that for a moment. In today's socio-political climate where tensions between Arabs and Jews run redhot, these men in downtown Indy have not only found some common ground, they are fasting and feasting together!
Joining them in the celebration are two protestant congregations, as well, which made me very happy as a protestant Christian, myself. I don't often see my co-religionists reach across denominational boundaries, let alone religious and cultural ones. To me, this speaks to the "good news" of Jesus, who like these men, loved to sit across the table from those who were not like him and practice the fine art of fellowship. He was not afraid to befriend a so-called enemy or invite a hated member of society to his table. He knows firsthand the benefit of putting aside one's own wellbeing for the benefit of another.
And while these men are not laying down their lives one for the other, I'm not so sure they wouldn't. At least they've made a bold statement about religious reconciliation. And in this day and age of jihad and self-righteous rhetoric, it is a welcomed and appreciated gesture.
This is a question I've been pondering since all of Christendom just celebrated the high holy day of Easter. As you look at the Church, do you find evidence of life? Is the radiant life of a risen Christ emanating from within?
It is often hard to answer that question in the affirmative. And when you look back at the history of Christianity with all the atrocities committed in Christ's name, it is rather difficult to find evidence that the Church believes at all in the resurrection of Jesus.
Growing up Catholic, I was surrounded by gory images of a beaten, thorn-crowned, crucified and speared-through Messiah. Those images of death and torture seem to signify the morbid mindset of many of today's Christians. Their pre-occupation with death and judgment leads them away from the life-affirming and life-changing message of Easter.
If that wasn't true, wouldn't we see more evidence of Christ-likeness in the Church?
The question of "Who Killed Jesus?," rekindled in large part by Mel Gibson's film a few years ago, matters little in my opinion. Whether you fall into the John Crossan camp, believing “that the Romans, not the Jews, killed Jesus as a revolutionary agitator inimical to their continued governance of Judea”, you side with the Anti-Semites whosolely blame the Jews (you'd be in a growing minority btw), or you believe both are culpable, the pressing issue is whether you fixate on Christ's death or His resurrection.
For me, the resurrection is just as much about my attitude every day, as it is about a promise of life after death. And if, like me, you believe in the abundant life proclaimed in Scripture, then it should effect the state of daily affairs in your life. It should be evident in the way you approach challenges, the way you interact with others, the way in which you conduct yourself and the way you spend your time, energy and resources.
A religion fixated on death will produce more of the same, but a living faith rooted in the life of Christ will produce abundantly more. So, as I reflect on the Easter story, I am once again encouraged to live out my faith actively. And for me that means doing more, spending my time, energy and resources more wisely, loving more and having a more positive attitude.
If Jesus is really alive, then how is it effecting your life here on planet Earth?
The ministry of evangelization is an extraordinary opportunity of showing gratitude to Jesus by passing on His gospel of grace to others...To evangelize a person is to say to him or her, You, too, are loved by God in the Lord Jesus. And not only to say it but to really think it and relate it to the man or woman so they can sense it. This is what it means to announce the Good News. But that becomes possible only by offering the person your friendship--a friendship that is real, unselfish, without condescension, full of confidence, and profound esteem (The Ragamuffin Gospel, p.124).
I first blogged about this last year in a rant titled A Ragamuffin Reality, but the last part of the quote struck me again just recently.
I've been discussing with some friends online what it means to be a friend, to be a Christian and to know Jesus. And while I don't pretend to have all the answers, I do think that relationships are key to experiencing and knowing God. I don't mean some fantastical relationship with an unseen deity. I believe we can find God by investigating the people around us and investing in relationship.
A relationship takes initiative, trust and the ability to listen. Too often, I'm too lazy to make the initial investment. The first step in any effort is usually the toughest for me. But once I take that step, I have to then fight through the fear of being discovered. Trust is not an easy barrier to overcome, especially when your confidence is low. And once the first two barriers are broken through, I find myself doing a lot of talking and not enough active listening.
A relationship requires that I let down my guard. Letting my guard down requires some semblance of humility. Humility proves that I don't have it all together and runs counter to my nature...but it runs right to the core of Christ's nature, who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped (Paul's Epistle to the Philippians).
If only I could mirror that kind of humility in my own life.
Are you a ragamuffin like me? Do you struggle with relationships? Do you often fail at living the Good News?
Recent conversations over at The Ooze have reminded me what I don't miss about going to a typical church, namely "Christianese." If you've gone to church much or hung around many Christians, then you've heard Christianese. It's that secret language those people use to communicate things about God, faith and right living. I've blogged before about the bad taste it leaves in my mouth.
I guess my detoxification is complete, because when I hear Christianese now, I get that queesy feeling...like when Mom broke out a new can of Chop Suey. Yum! Well, when discussions began about what Jesus wants from his followers and how one "gets to know God," I got that same sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Sure, Jesus wants us to love God and love others, but when you ask most Christians what it truly means to love God, you'll get a myriad of answers. As one participant in the discussion describes it, you should go on dates with God. Of course, being the sarcastic twit that I am, I asked if God should always pick up the tab, or if his date is always responsible for 10%. (Editor's note: check out this humorous look at tithing...at least I hope it was meant to be funny.)
If you can't verbalize what it means to love God without turning Billy Graham on me or resorting to some cheesy verbage from a Vacation Bible School tract, then don't bother. Christianese is like nails on a chalkboard to someone, like me, who is a recovering evangelical, pentacostal. I can hardly stand it.
Talk to me in simple, everyday terms. Make yourself plain. Get your head out of the clouds (or whatever cavity it's stuck within) and be real. You can't go on dates with an unseen deity and its quite difficult to hold a conversation with someone who doesn't talk back...well, except in your head, and those voices probably aren't the Almighty.
The melodrama on a message board I frequent was only recently eclipsed by the drama surrounding an upcoming family wedding. Let me just say from the start that this is EXACTLY the reason I have a problem with self-righteous people.
This Doyle melodrama, brought to you by the Pharisaical First Holiness Church on the Prairie, revolves around a divorced family member who is marrying his mistress. Yes, the other woman is getting her prize, much to the chagrin of just about everyone in my family.
Can they let it go, already?
Yes, adultery, affairs, divorce, divided families, etc. are not Christian ideals. We all agree on that. However, forgiveness, grace and mercy are the highest of ideals…just browse the New Testament or Google, “Sermon on the Mount.”
We were only alerted to the wayward family member’s second marriage very recently. The celebration takes place in just over a week. That’s hardly enough time for us to trash the couple, badmouth their situation, judge their morals and critique everything from the invitations to the honeymoon. How inconsiderate!
And in the family discourse that has erupted, I’ve learned: that an ordained member of my family could possibly lose his salvation if he even drives past the church where the wedding is to occur that its okay to attend the wedding for appearance sake ONLY that its also okay to shun this family member and the soon-to-be in-law simply because we know their union is “unholy”
Self-righteousness is an UGLY wart on the Body of Christ. Unfortunately, my immediate family does not think so. Because they are right, and they have Scripture to prove it, they can look down their noses at the shunned ones and feign pity, when what they really want is some good Old Testament judgment reigned down by a vengeful God. Okay, maybe only the ex-wife wants that, but many in my family are on “her side,” as if battle lines have been drawn around this wedding.
It’s crazy, I know, but no one has ever accused my family of functionality. And maybe that’s why this is bothering me so. It is MY family, not just some group of hypocritical Christians at a (fill-in the blank) rally.
Now, that I’ve vented, I only feel a tinge of remorse. After all, I’m now the one being quite the hypocrite…but its okay as long as I do it.
I used to think that Christians thought they had the market cornered on truth. And while that is still a major sticking point for me, I’ve encountered even more Christians who believe they know how things ought to be. Whether it’s a dyed-in-the-wool evangelical who believes colonial America was the utopia we should return to or the modern-day Nostradamus who knows what the future holds and wants to shape it with cookie-cutter precision, Christians want the world to know how things are supposed to be.
For instance, God never intended same-sex unions, planned parenthood, equal rights or stem cell research, so we should ignore the progresses of modern science, women, gay people and minorities. We should continue to step on the backs of the marginalized so that we—and I mean WASP-y middle class Americans—can attain our goals of 2.5 children, 2 cars, two thousand-plus square feet of living space and a dog we can kick when it seems that life is unfair and the world around us is going to hell in a handbasket.
What really irks me about many Christians is that they are often quick to offer the quick-fix formula of prayer, bible reading and quiet time, yet they usually can’t show results to prove its effectiveness. That formula written on a chalkboard would look something like this:
p+br+qt=by
The end result is a better you.
Formulas are nice if you’re an MIT student, but if you’re just a regular Joe struggling to get along in the world, they mean diddly-poo...the latter flung on a chalkboard ain't pretty. Besides, every religion in the world will tell you that some sort of quiet time including meditation or reflective prayer will give you inner peace. The problem results when inner peace doesn’t translate into a better you. If you step out of your “prayer closet” and cuss the first person or inanimate object that does you wrong, then your peace was way too fleeting. If you aren’t charitable, merciful, loving, compassionate and kind, then who cares how many Bible verses you can quote, how many days you can fast and pray or what you have to say about the state of society???
I’d like just a few more Christians to spend more time on introspection. Stay in that prayer closet just an hour longer and take a mirror in there with you! Get things in your own life straight before you tell everyone else how things should be. Jesus did say something about the log in your own eye.
I'm not sure how the world is supposed to be according to God's grand design, but the Bible does give me a pretty good picture of how Jesus was, how he lived and what kind of character he displayed. All I'm saying is that Christians should start to reflect Him and quit worrying about everyone and everything else. I'm just sayin'.
For me, the resurrection is just as much about my attitude every day, as it is about a promise of life after death. And if, like me, you believe in the abundant life proclaimed in Scripture, then it should effect the state of daily affairs in your life. It should be evident in the way you approach challenges, the way you interact with others, the way in which you conduct yourself and the way you spend your time, energy and resources.