My Health Scare - Three of Them!

I haven't written at all here about my recent health journey. It began last fall as I noticed breathing issues and lightheadness, plus heart palpatations at age 55 and a few weeks. I wrote it off as both age and stress. But in early November I was pet sitting in Fort Myers near FSW (the college) and riding my bike to the Publix Supermarket across from there on Summerlin. It was a casual ride of maybe half a mile. A sudden attack of lightheadedness as a result of shortness of breath made me stop in my tracks. Standing there straddling my bike, I was worried I might faint and hit my head on the sidewalk or concrete utility “pole” next to me.

That surprised, startled and scared the BEJESUS outta me! None of the previous symptoms had been that severe or sudden. I gathered myself and rode onto get groceries. It took 3 or 4 more episodes, the final one nearly sent me onto Gladiolus off my bike, a shooting pain up my left temple, to get me to the ER.

The photo above left is dated November 7, 2023, at Gulf Coast Medical Center. My good friend, brother and bandmate, Craig, prodded me for two days to go get checked out before driving my stubborn ass to the Ft. Myers hospital. He sat with me all day in the ER until I was assigned a room, through a litany of scans and tests, including an ultrasound of my legs.

The diagnosis was two deep vein thrombin (DVTs) in my legs, one with little chance of movement, and a small pulmonary embolism in my left lung. Two of them could have dislodged and sent me to an early grave. I was glad to have gone and gotten checked out. I really appreciated my brother (not by blood) for helping me out and laughing with me all day Nov. 7th. I was prescribed blood thinners and released.

Here I am upon release outside GCMC

10 Reasons Why I'm Moving to Belize - #6 FOOD

It's no secret that I love food. A variety of foods suit my palate, including the Caribbean and Creole flavors of Belize. There is also the Mayan and Mexican influence in Belizean dishes, so just like the diversity of it's people, the flavors of Belize are just as diverse!

A staple of the Belizean diet is beans and rice with fried plantains. Now, you have to know how to order it because if you say "beans and rice" you will get a plate of slow-simmered beans, well seasoned with a side of rice. If you order "rice and beans," on the other hand, you'll get a bowl of steamy goodness all mixed together, like what you'd get in New Orleans.

Know the difference--
Rice & Beans (left) - Beans & Rice (right), often served with chicken and/or plantains

As shown above, this dish can be combined with any number of proteins, but chicken and seafood reign supreme in Belize. However, it is often eaten as the main dish--for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

A favorite way to eat "yard bird," is in a dish they call Stewed Chicken:
Although there are many variations on this dish, most traditional recipes keep it simple – just chicken, red recado, onion and water. Red recato is basically a chili paste common to the region made with the powder of ancho and annato chili seeds. Yet to try it, but it looks and sounds DELICIOUS!

Traditional Belizean Tamales are wrapped in plantain leaves and can be made with or without meat. These local favorites and the dish above, show some of the Mexican influences in Belizean cooking.

Now, the area is super fertile and lots of exotic plants and tropical fruits grow there. In fact, the trees are dripping with them! You can find just about anything at local open-air markets and roadside stands. So having locally grown produce and non-GMO meats, which are also abundant at butcher shops, is a definite plus! I can get back to healthy living/eating. It's too expensive to buy imported foods, anyway, so local is best.

And because Placencia is an old fishing village with a lagoon on one side and the Caribbean on the other, seafood is rather plentiful. I LOVE SEAFOOD (well not scallops or anything too "fishy")! And spiny lobster season runs more than half the year--July to February!

Belizean Spiny Lobster (almost always in season)

Now, I've always been a fan of lobster, well ever since I tried it at 18. And on Fort Myers Beach, I had friends that would go lobstering in the Florida Keys. If you've never had a fresh lobster, hot off the grill with nothing more than garlic butter and lemon juice squeezed over it, then YOU HAVE NOT LIVED!!! And I've seen photos of local men grilling lobsters on the sides of Placencia's "tiny main street," (a boardwalk, basically). I could live off of wild caught seafood and locally grown veggies and fruit, trust me!

These little Belizean treats, called Garnache, are another thing I look forward to trying:

They are

 fried corn tortillas topped anyway you like and they look delicious!

And this is just a SAMPLING of the foods of Belize! Ever since I taught myself how to cook (c.2001), I've been a bonafide foodie! I am good with living off the land. I could even grow my own foods--corn, beans, onions, peppers, potatoes...

I won't be eating straight starch for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but an occasional plate of red or black beans with white or saffron rice, would be doable. I'd prefer to eat seafood, fruits and veggies, locally sourced. But this foodie can make himself happy just about anywhere!

And so the 6th reason in my 10 reasons to move to Belize--FOOD!!! (and the abundance of it)!

Mind-cleansing walks in Springtime bring about control

I've been saying the Serenity Prayer a lot, lately. Not the verbatim prayer (at left) that you'll hear at most A.A. meetings or self-help groups. No, I've just uttered some version of that prayer nearly everyday. It has helped.

STAYING POSITIVE

I've been taking walks around the lake in our neighborhood, enjoying the Spring weather here in Tallahassee. The mild temps, sunshine and fresh air are good for my soul. The walks are good for my body. The Serenity Prayer and the reaffirming self-speak have done wonders for my mind and emotions. The last few days, I've been referring to these walks--2.5 to 4 miles--as mind-cleansing walks. And they have been. It's been my chance to center myself in the middle of the day.

The last year has been a grueling one. I'd even argue that it's been one of my worst, possibly second all-time. I've survived a divorce, a failed relationship, an extended separation from my children and other minor set-backs along the way. I've always heard what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but that hasn't necessarily been the case except for in my darkest times.

I did come out of a severe depression in 2000 much stronger, but still battled many of my demons. I even survived a suicide attempt at the end of that year. A few months later, I was restarting my life in a new house and about to adopt my first baby. I learned a lot about myself in that year of about-face orientation. I still had a lot to learn and I'm not always the easiest student. I can be quite stubborn and hard-headed.

A look at Springtime Azaleas in bloom all around my
Tallahassee neighborhood

After some serious setbacks in 2006 and 2008, I was still determined to maintain my course even if I wasn't headed in the right direction. Fast forward to 2013 and circumstances tried to kick me down again. Out of that tumultuous year, I do believe that I have emerged even stronger still. So maybe it has taken several years and a couple of really bad ones to get my attention, but I have learned and grown.

It's been on these mind-cleansing walks that I've seen the most evidence. Take today, for instance, I put into practice the learned art of self-compassion. I walked 2 miles around that lake, speaking affirming words to myself that entire time. Thankfully, I didn't encounter too many others on the walking path. After a rough and emotional morning, it was the perfect therapy for me.

I read a book about self-compassion in December 2012 and it was quite eye-opening for me, but I won't repost here what you can read in my blog entry here. Suffice to say, that this was quite an accomplishment for me, and putting it into practice today made me realize just how far I've come since 2000. There was still so much critical energy, so much pessimism and self-doubt in me even after I recovered from my depressive episode. It took years to finally overcome that, and I still struggle with it.

LEARNING CONTROL

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

It was just a few days ago on one of my mind-cleansing walks that I accepted an important truth and slayed an age-old myth. That myth is the one that convinces us we are in control. As I was contemplating this blog post, I ran across another good one by a dog trainer in Texas. He talks about The Control Myth and how it skews our thinking (Note: this is more than a blog about dogs, so take a minute to read it, it's really good).

The important truth that I realized on my walk is that I can only control three things--my actions, my attitude and all that goes on between my ears. I like to draw a small circle just in front of me when I'm walking and talking to myself (I know I must look crazy, but I don't care what people think of me). I make that circular motion with my hand and remind myself, "This is the extent of my sphere of control."

I can't control anything beyond that sphere, that in reality, encompasses only my body and nothing outside of it. I can't control people, the weather, circumstances, other's perceptions of reality, etc. I can only control me, and more importantly, what's going on inside of me.

This afternoon, I also ran across this cool little series on WikiHow about gaining control of your emotions. That one, for me, is huge, also. I was on my walk yesterday, a four-mile round trip to Publix, when I really had to do some digging to realize what was wrong with me. The day had started off rather pleasantly, then I let myself get upset about things outside my control. I went on my walk thinking I just needed to be more positive. Well, I realized after some digging why I was upset and allowed myself to just be upset for awhile longer. My feelings had been hurt, so it was okay...not to be okay. After realizing the root of the issue, I dealt with those negative feelings and then got past them, giving myself permission to go there and then walk out of it. That's an example of controlling your emotions. It doesn't mean allow only the positive ones. It allows space for all emotions to grow and subside.

For me, the control comes in when I deal in a healthy way with all my emotions. I don't bottle any of them up or try to stifle the painful ones. I just let them breathe. I go outside and try to focus on the beauty of nature. I try to live in the here and now, focusing only on my present surroundings. I breathe deeply and listen to my heartbeat. I try to keep my wandering mind in check. The last couple of days this has worked well for me.

As I continue this crazy, out of control journey called Life, I hope to gain more control over the things I actually have the power to do so. I will continue to let go of the things and people that I cannot, thereby denying the myth. I will continue to love and affirm myself in order to maintain a positive attitude. I will not be reduced, as Maya Angelou said in the above quote, by all the events that happen to me. I will stay rooted in reality.

Drawing a small circle around me, I can only control this area right here. :)