HELL 2.0

That was the theme of my morning journal entry today, 12 Oct 2022.

Two-point-O, you ask?

Well, let me take you back to my blog post on the very last day of 2016, "Worst Year, EVER!" I'd call 2016 (technically the end of Nov 2015 through Oct 2016) "HELL 1.0!"

I lost my car and my license that year. I lost my job, then after a summer with my grieving father, it took me until the end of September 2016 to regain employment. That's when things finally began leveling off, but then I had to face the first anniversary of Mom's death over Thanksgiving Weekend. Needless to say, Thanksgiving is no longer a holiday for me. I could live without the reminder.

I don't remember 2017 being a whole lot better, then 2018 kinda sucked, until I moved back in with my girls post-Hurricane Michael in mid-October '18. Christmas was ok, though I think the girls spent the full two weeks out of school with their Mom in PCB. As I recall, 2019 was a blur with patches of homelessness, where I slept out on the street. That year ended with several of my friends struggling to kick flu-like symptoms FOR WEEKS (HELLO, COVID-19!!!), which our government tried to cover-up until the following Spring when the outbreak COULDN'T be ignored! So 2020 began with COVID, then George Floyd and racial unrest, but I was quarantined with my girls so the first half of that year sucked LESS than the previous four.

So why HELL 2.0 for the current year?

Well, let's back up to October 2021.

I get a call from my sister the morning of 4 Oct 21 that Dad's COVID-induced pneumonia seems to be letting up, he's breathing better than ever and seems to have turned a corner. He'd been hospitalized a few days with breathing difficulty. BUT by later that day, he nosedived and his condition was worse than before. That night, around 8:30, he was dead. "Turned the corner???"

Through the great kindness of a wonderful, new friend in Boulder, CO, I was able to fly home the following afternoon. Officially, the year of hell had begun.

We memorialized Dad, but not without major drama from some former siblings, one of whom I had to take to court to send a message. I'd rather not elaborate for fear I might throw this laptop out this second-story window!

By the time Christmas 2021 rolled around, I'd had enough. I was preparing my return to either Boulder or the beach. Then, in a state of unwellness, I did the opposite and stayed in Indiana, rekindling what I believed to be an old flame. Turns out, I was just horny.

That misstep led to FIVE MONTHS of misery. THAT's how my year, 2022, started. I was living in the trash heap of Evansville, IN, trying to make the best of it, pouring myself into genealogical research and visiting nearby family--that was the lone bright spot of the Winter/Spring 2022. But in that time, I burnt through most of my meager inheritance from Dad. I, again, had nothing--no car, no home...

I had to escape that frying pan for the fire at my sister's house. ABSOLUTE CHAOS!

I knew this about my sister's living situation, but what was I to do? Go immediately back to Boulder?

My relationship with my girls was already on life support...I don't know why, honestly. That left me no real reason to go back to Boulder...so BEACH it was!

Only my sister needed me...and begged me to come back and make some semblance of order out of her chaotic existence. It was above my paygrade. I failed. That's not a word that's been part of my lexicon much since 2001. I don't like it. I like even less to have to admit failure. But that's what 2022 has been--one after the other!

I was looking to escape to Fort Myers Beach as early as June of this year. I floundered, began struggling again with depression, barely able to grieve my father's death for MONTHS! I was miserable.

It's worth noting here that being ORPHANED, no matter your age, is no easy thing to wrestle or come to grips with. I turned 54 in September. I hate being an orphan!! I lost the parents who not only raised me, but we GREW UP TOGETHER! And to make matters worse, I have no reliable siblings now, either. I'm a man without a family. And since my girls have ghosted me--at 18 and 21--I really feel like a ship without a home and without a rudder.

I'm adrift...

Adding to that helpless feeling, my beach, the one I was to go back to in June, then August, then September? IT WAS DECIMATED BY HURRICANE IAN ON SEPT. 28TH!!! How's that for a kicker???

I was literally looking at transportation costs on the day of my birthday, exactly two weeks earlier, then Ian hit...OF ALL PLACES!!! FMB took the brunt of 12-15 feet of storm surge and brutal 100mph+ winds, sustained. The beach now lies in ruins. I had my best friends down there ride it out in their stilted home. It barely escaped destruction. Their business was not so lucky.

I still plan to go back there, but there is no water, no power and parts of the island are inaccessible due to massive piles of debris, downed trees and power lines. It could be a month before power is restored.

Yeah, this year (Oct 2021 - Present) has sucked JUST AS BAD as 2016!!!
I cannot imagine Hell being much worse.

Signed,
Rudderless in 2022

The Human Toll of our Stupidity

The two words which came to mind in the aftermath of Hurricane Ian a week and one half ago. We can blame these Great American "values" for the massive human toll, which at this point ranks second ONLY to the 1935 Hurricane. That hurricane claimed 485 lives. The death toll from Ian is still being tabulated.

WE WANTED IT. WE TOOK IT!

In the news segment here, you'll hear from a scientist how the removal of natural dunes in the name of progress created the effects we saw of massive storm surge. These natural barriers between sea and civilization were bulldozed many decades ago.

The images, alone, provided by NASA are alarming...but more alarming are the harmful effects of unfettered capitalism, greed and growth that allowed the building of so many unsafe structures RIGHT ALONG the coastline...and this happens ALL OVER Florida!

The arrogance of planners and developers to think that we (mere mortals) can somehow stop the rising seas, we can resist the natural flow of water (see the Everglades) or in any other way FUCK WITH Mother Nature is pure insanity. Yet, we do it everyday. We restrict or impact in some way the flow of waterways, we introduce foreign objects, substances and species (plant and animal) and otherwise screw up the natural state of our planet, and expect the Universe to comply with OUR wishes. It just does not work that way. The Universe DOES NOT revolve around humankind!

The Army Corps of Engineers and the planners in Lee County believed they could manufacture islands to build a causeway that would withstand the terrific force of the Gulf of Mexico. Likewise, they filled in a swamp, then drained the neighborhoods they manufactured with endless canals and sold it to retirees as "Cape Coral." It was swampy marshland just inside Pine Island and should have been left to the manatee, the blue herron and the gator. But just like the concrete jungle in South Florida, we created a veritable paradise for mostly white people.

Why? Because we could...and developers profited greatly.

Time is about to show how much Mother Nature and the rising seas, due to a global crisis, care about humankind's plans--their avarice and hubris mean nothing to Her. Miami will one day be swallowed by the Atlantic, becoming my great-great descendants New Atlantis.

And as Hurricane Ian showed, we cannot sustain this type of growth along the barrier islands on the Gulf side, either. You can't resculpt islands, removing the barriers nature put in place, then put unsafe structures on the new landscape and expect Mother Nature to respect that. She won't. She doesn't.

And yet, in SWFL, just like in post-Andrew Miami, we'll see the tightening (in this case, enforcing, FINALLY) of building codes from the early 2000's. They'll ignore the lessons of history and rebuild on the exact same duneless beaches, just stronger, more fortified houses and condos. Hell, Fort Myers Beach was in the process of building the mega-structure Margaritaville when Ian struck!

But who will be able to afford to live in this new paradise? Only the mega-wealthy!

All that money and "sustainable" growth is still no match for the power of nature. Those islands WILL one day be claimed by the rising seas! Just as the above video shows us, nature already took a little of it back with her after Ian.

My post-Ian, anti-American Rant

 

I don't wax political too often on this blog. But here we go...

I have NEVER been a big Joe Biden fan! I voted for him, yes, just to get the Orange Twatwaffle out of office, who I don't even recognize as the "Former President" (FPOTUS). I believe he's an orangey stain on the history of the Oval Office...one from which we may never recover. That's why I refer to those four dark years (2016-20) as "45." Just like Colbert, I won't utter the name, T***P. Fuck that guy for what he did to this country!!! Grifter and shyster extraordinaire, lined his and his family's pocket while squatting (or attempting to in Jan 2021) in OUR White House! Enough on him...

Not a fan of Biden, or any old white men who've made a career living off the federal taxpayer's dime. We've had enough of his ilk (also grifters). He was the lesser of two evils in November 2020.

STILL...

He's done some good things since taking office. Yesterday, the country got one step closer to decriminalizing (and hopefully LEGALIZING) marijuana, a harmless herb. But I guess against the backdrop of 45, ANYONE WHO ACTS LIKE AN ADULT IN THE OVAL OFFICE would look QUITE presidential!

#DankBrandon he's being called. Cute.

He's fighting for reproductive rights. He's fighting on the right side of climate change. He's implementing his policies and they seem to be having a net positive effect on Americans. Sure, poverty and inflation are out of control. The wealthiest one-percent still have Americans by the balls. Our two party system has, by and large, failed us. But I can give Biden credit where credit is due.

Look at the #HurricaneIan recovery. It's been swift and bipartisan (though ALL GQP Congress Members voted AGAINST relief funding). He's worked with #DeathSantis to get the job done and look how far they've come in one week since landfall!

The guy is old. I don't want to see him run for a second term.

I don't want Bernie to run, same reason.

Old, white men are the reason we've gotten to where we are. Just ask Gen Z. They'll tell you. "FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!" and by that, they mean people like Biden, McConnell, etc... It's hard to argue. Our country is on the precipice of Civil War (sorta).

It's a war of ideas--Progressives v. Conservatives.

Why are so many hellbent on taking us BACKWARDS? Because an ancient relic, called The Bible, dictates morality and how we should legislate it??? I've got a bridge to Sanibel Island I'd like to sell you, along with some snake oil...

The answer isn't in either party. Most Democrats aren't progressive enough and they ALL serve the same master--GREED! Power and greed are the base of American politics. Neither party serves the common American. They all bow down to corporations, feasting at the capitalist tit! WE PAY FOR IT!

I'm seriously done with it. I'm about done with being an American. My ancestors came here GOD KNOWS WHEN. The Doyle lineage gets pretty sketchy somewhere about the turn of the 19th century in Western PA.

But this country still REEKS of Colonialism. We still shed a tear when the Queen of England dies. We still hold onto the ideal of Manifest Destiny. Just look at us! We're white. The world OWES US!

NO THANKS!

That's why I'm seriously considering upping my move to Central America. I was going to spend part of the next decade in SWFL...Fort Myers Beach to be exact. Mother Nature just put the BIGGEST KINK in that plan...

Belize, you ready for this expat?

In the meantime, you'll find me on Twitter railing against capitalism, fascism, MAGAts and all things wrong with Colonial America...just to MAYBE get a few people to wake up.

Yep, I'm just about done with this country. Thanks for listening.