Four things I've been reminded of in recent days:
- Life is short, say what you mean to say
- No one gets to rewrite your narrative
- The pen is mightier than the sword
- Actions speak louder than words
The first one goes without saying, but do we say what we mean? Are we direct with our words? Are we intentional with them? I try to be, and that's why, when given the perfect opportunity yesterday, I sat down with my niece and her new husband and shared what was on my heart. I got to hear their story, the whirlwind love affair, marriage and brief history. I was intentional with my heartfelt words of encouragement and affirmation. A long time ago, my then pastor preached a sermon that "only the builders will be paid for their labor," using a Scripture in Nehemiah.
I wasn't always good with using my words. If I was intentional, it was usually to tear someone down. Words can hurt, they cut deeply when used in that way. I want to be a builder who reaps a reward. I want to be an encourager, one who lifts others up. Life has taught me to be more positive, affirming to others and intentional with my words in a good way.
Second on the list is also something that was discussed over coffee at Mom's dining room table. This week, several of my family members have had their dirty laundry aired out over social media, with others trying to rewrite the narrative and to own it. Your story is your story. Period. YOU get to tell it the way you want to. No one else can own YOUR story. It belongs wholly and solely to the bearer of it. And since no one has lived your life, what does their editorial matter? It doesn't. The former family members who did this to me and others were summarily hushed and shunned. They don't own the narrative of my life or anyone's but their own. In fact, none of them have even attempted to walk a mile in anyone else's shoes. All they have are uninformed opinions and half-truths. They took them and ran a mile, though. It was futile. Their words fell on deaf ears. Our life, our narrative, that simple.
Third, "The pen is mightier than the sword" is a metonymic adage, created by English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839. Not to toot my own horn, but I've wielded my weapon effectively for years. In times of conflict, I've found strength, solace and peace in the written word--my words. That came into play this last week, as well, but we won't rehash that drama here. Suffice to say, I didn't have to resort to fisticuffs because I know how to "take someone down," so to speak, or to disarm them using "the pen."
And finally, since we began this blog post speaking of words, they are indeed just that, words. Though they can be used intentionally to build up or tear down, and to attack, deflect and defend, they do not amount to a hill of beans in the end. Words without action, without any real intentionality behind them, are like dust in the wind, carried off into the stratosphere. There have been a lot of words bantered around by my family. There have been empty threats and broken promises. Their word is not their bond. Their words don't make them any better than anyone else, and they aren't fooling anyone, either. Saying you are a Christian, for example, means absolutely nothing if you don't show it. Faith is meant to be lived, or as Scripture says, it is as a loud gong or clanging cymbal. We have a lot of musicians in this family, I just didn't realize that most of them were percussionists.
So be intentional with your words. Write your own narrative and own that shit. Defend yourself and disarm others, but don't resort to physical violence (unless they leave you absolutely no other alternative). And back that shit up! Don't just use lots of words to sound <insert desired effect here> but BE THAT! Be intentional with your actions, as well. Show the world who you are by doing/being. Words can be powerful and effective, but they can also be empty and hallow. Only shallow people live by words, alone. Only fake Christians use them to prop up some false version of who they really are.
And on that last part, this author has not worn the label Christian for quite some time. In 2005, when I first started this blog, I was in the process of deconstructing my faith. These days, I consider myself more a student of The Dao, even though I'm not a practicing Daoist. I'm a spiritualist. I draw Truth from any place I can find it--Buddhism, Paganism, Hinduism, Daoism, Islam and Christianity--wherever. People trying to knock me don't see the Christian virtues I live out everyday among the homeless in Boulder. Again, they don't own my narrative, have never walked a mile in my shoes, have never even come to the source, just believed what they wanted to believe, then cast aspersions. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian. I know the Bible and I still quote it, as I have on this blog post. There are some great nuggets of Truth and Wisdom, but that faith tradition hasn't cornered the market on those things! In fact, Christianity is one of the new kids on the block. Try getting an education before you speak, folks! And go to the source instead of repeating pure garbage and hearsay...please and thank you.
And on that last part, this author has not worn the label Christian for quite some time. In 2005, when I first started this blog, I was in the process of deconstructing my faith. These days, I consider myself more a student of The Dao, even though I'm not a practicing Daoist. I'm a spiritualist. I draw Truth from any place I can find it--Buddhism, Paganism, Hinduism, Daoism, Islam and Christianity--wherever. People trying to knock me don't see the Christian virtues I live out everyday among the homeless in Boulder. Again, they don't own my narrative, have never walked a mile in my shoes, have never even come to the source, just believed what they wanted to believe, then cast aspersions. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian. I know the Bible and I still quote it, as I have on this blog post. There are some great nuggets of Truth and Wisdom, but that faith tradition hasn't cornered the market on those things! In fact, Christianity is one of the new kids on the block. Try getting an education before you speak, folks! And go to the source instead of repeating pure garbage and hearsay...please and thank you.
