Friday, June 27, 2008

The Stick Up Our Ass

I know that I joined this discussion about 4 years too late, but apparently my fellow Hoosiers have a real problem with the word ASS being displayed in public.

Really, people? There aren't enough REAL problems in the world, that we have to create petty ones?

For my puritanical brethren, may I remind ye that the King James Version references the ass more than 70 times, starting in Genesis 22. Don't believe me? Type "ass" in the search field of a site like Bible Gateway. There are 76 mentions, to be exact. Seventy-six! And even the Messiah himself used the word on occasion! HOLY MOLY! Well, I guess we should be holier than Jesus by abstaining from such vulgar speech, now shouldn't we?

The word ass in the Bible refers to a donkey. It's in the dictionary. The word ass on the offending coffee shop sign ALSO referred to a donkey. Regardless, we Hoosiers DID NOT want our children reading and repeating this immoral, offensive, vulgar word...King James, Moses, Samuel et. al. be damned! (Oops, sorry...guess I should have rated this post PG-13).

My problem is that I really wanted some more Bad Ass Mocha, but I don't want to pay to have it shipped here. I first tasted it in Florida while on vacation in Reddington Shores last year and it was PHENOMENAL! Plus, everyone needs a break from Starbucks now and then...and I'm not a big fan of Dunkin' Donuts. When I Googled "bad ass coffee indianapolis" I was excited to find a location near me at the Fashion Mall on Keystone. Then, I tried to call their number. Disconnected. No longer in service.

So thank you to my fellow Hoosiers who succeeded in running off this fine establishment because of your puritanical views on the English language. You are INDEED holier than thou!



Some people might tell me to pull the plank out of my own ass before I try to remove the speck from my brother's...and by ass, of course, they would mean my donkey.

2 comments:

sherylh96 said...

Yep, there were a few of these here for a while. Avon, Castleton, downtown... I frequented the one in Avon when I lived on the Westside. And yes, it's awesome. But alas, one by one, they all closed. I think Avon was the first one to go. (I'm sure that had NOTHING to do w/ all the churches in Avon) :P So sad... I really miss Bad Ass Coffee. :(

The detriment of living in a red state...

Sara Miller said...

The last comment made about the plank in your ass was too funny. I have been called an ass on many occassions, nad darn proud of it! I feel too much time is wasted on trying to fix the world when these so-called do-gooders should be cleaning up their own lives. Kudos to this article.