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| Book page: https://www.bookpage.com/reviews/wired-for-love/ |
MY CURRENT READ (above) which I found at the Santa Monica Library. I'm just getting started and I already love it! Here's what she's said so far that resonated deeply...
(p.21) "People who report feelings of social isolation--what is typically called loneliness--have been shown to have less gray and white matter in key social areas of their brain. If they remain lonely, they are susceptible to a cascade of neurological events that echo throughout their bodies, leading to so many poor health outcomes that some public health experts now consider chronic loneliness on par with smoking as a grave risk to your health." WOW!
MY TENDENCY
I tend to be a pack animal. I grew up in a family of seven. I had lots of cousins my age that I saw semi-regularly, at least when I was a pre-teen. I was sort of a lone ranger in school, though, having trouble fitting in with all the kids who were bigger (as in more physically mature) and more athletic than me. The first couple years of high school were the WORST! Until midway through Junior year, after I had hit my growth spurt and my stride, I found my posse. These are the core group of friends I spent my last 1.5 years of high school hanging out with, going to parties, going to prom, etc. I had my pack. Then I moved to Florida.
Becoming involved musically and socially at a large church, I quickly found my pack in Tallahassee. Some of those friends remain dear to me today, some 40 years later.
I moved across country in the midst of the pandemic, to remain near to my daughters, who had moved with their mother to Colorado. It was a big leap to a much colder, higher altitude, high desert climate. Beyond my ex and my girls, I knew no one. It didn't take long, though, to assimilate. Even without the music scene, I found it easy to win friends and gain their trust. For almost 11 months, I had my pack.
After I left there, I lived with family in Indiana before returning to Florida. At the beach, I re-engaged with old friends, some dear ones, even an old girlfriend and the music scene, joining a local cover band. I had my pack of misfits, again.
I operate better in a pack.
MY PRESENT REALITY
In the book, I'm learning how evolutionarily beneficial it is for the brain to be a pack animal (socially connected). New brain science is proving how neural connections are multiplied with regular social interaction. No wonder I gravitate naturally towards others and finding connection.
That has been extremely hard in Los Angeles, where I've been living the last 14 months. I have no pack, no posse, and only a few regular contacts out here. I am lonely. I do not want to damage my mental or physical health when I've come so far.
With the help of my therapist, I've decided I need to be back in Florida. This SoCal experience, which was totally impulsive, has been a major flop. And while I've enjoyed the adventure of somewhere new, and I can mark dipping my toes in the Pacific Ocean off my bucket list, I am not thriving nor happy here. I've maintained my peace for the most part, moreso here lately since coming to this decision.
This summer, before I make the cross-country backtrack, I plan to visit my daughters who I haven't seen in nearly five years. They are grown and in college now, still living near the Rockies in Colorado. If all goes right, I'll have the whole summer with them and leave for Florida once fall is about to set-in. I loathe the cold.
My final destination, I believe, is Key West (or somewhere in The Florida Keys). I have friends down there. I belong at sea level in a warmer climate on "island time." That suits this pack animal just fine.
